Breaking Up with 2020

2020, we are through.

Well, let’s clarify, we are through with the way I thought it would be.

I declare a new relationship under new terms which means there are new opportunities.

I am NOT hanging on to what could have been. And you shouldn’t either. 

 

Is it that easy?

Research confirms what the human experience tells us - we have a hard time ending things.

We keep at what we know EVEN if it no longer works and we rationally know it won’t get better.

That is why so much of the pandemic life is frustrating and exhausting. 

We need to pivot like never before - everything is different and will continue to be for an uncertain time. 

Hello Messy Middle!

Hello Lack of Control!

There isn’t a person who isn’t feeling the weight of all the unknowns. 

There isn’t a parent who isn’t crushed by their kids’ disappointments and lost opportunities.

There isn’t a mom who isn’t overloaded by ever changing school...

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Covid School 1, Me 0

Covid Online School 1, Me 0

I am NOT raising the white flag YET...

Though it is tempting.

I always say ‘raising boys isn’t for the faint of heart’.

Now I amend that to ‘online school for teenage boys is not for the weak of spirit’.

They are not engaged - really how can asynchronous learning compare to YouTube.

I need to be strong.

I need to play the long game.

I need to not cave because it is too exhausting to push those boys forward.

I need to be creative.

I need to be adaptable. 

I need to practice patience. 

And I need to meet each kid where he is. 

How do I do that? 

I turn to my Enneagram family roadmap.

I then tune into my adaptable tenacious Enneagram 3 energy and superpower to get it done! (If we know one another well, I see you shaking your head in agreement!) 

And I recognize I am NOT parenting myself  - my sons are Enneagram Archetypes of 7, 4 and 9 and though they are definitely my boys, they are NOT...

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Fastest Path To Disappointment

Uncategorized Aug 10, 2020

Unrealistic expectations. 

Yep, no doubt. 

Are you attached to the exact outcome? How do you feel when things don’t turn out how you hoped? How are you feeling about 2020 as a whole?

When what we expect doesn’t align with what we get, we are disappointed, frustrated, and ultimately less motivated to move forward. 

And isn’t that pretty much 2020 so far? 

Universally, whatever we each had planned is not turning out that way. 

And okay, I admit as a planner, I spent the first days of Covid life looking for ways to still make my plans work.  

But, I changed my expectations to be fluid. And I found more joy. 

 I let go of what my Class of 2020 son’s college freshman year looks like. It certainly won’t be typical or recognizable to any past freshman year. And we all know I am continuously triaging my high school sons school year.

Meeting up with friends is different but staying connected has persevered.  The...

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Math In The Morning

Uncategorized Aug 03, 2020

Can we get comfortable with uncertainty? Just four weeks ago, our school district announced our kids would go to school 5 days a week. Woohoo! Two days ago, we learned our sons will do a hybrid version with two days in school, if not fully remote. Boo! I can spend hours spinning on why educating our children is not considered essential and liquor stores and weed dispensaries are.  Or, I can choose to find a new way forward for their schooling (and my sanity) in this wild Covid world. I am choosing the latter which means math in our morning. 

With school from home, we are now teachers in addition to all our other roles. We are not the support team this fall, we are the co-teachers. So how can we structure the day for more learning and less chaos, complaining and back talk? Did you know studies show that 80 percent of kids perform better on analytical skills in the morning? Why does this matter? If we help our kids to do their analytical subjects like math and science in the...

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Tell Me More

Uncategorized Jul 27, 2020

A friend with lots of teenage boys like me shared a parenting nugget last week. When her boys start to tell her something, instead of commenting or asking questions, which I am prone to do, she says, “Tell me more.” Her boys continue to talk even when the subjects are challenging or uncomfortable. Genius! I just tweaked my mom style! We all want and need our kiddos to share with us, and those three words do just that. There is no judgment or agenda in “Tell me more.” Rather, it tells the other person that I want to learn and understand, so please do, tell me more. 

Are you trying to do the same old even though the same is not happening? Last week I shared how following my son (Click Here To Read) into the wilderness made more sense than him following me like he did when he was young and inexperienced. The passage of time and our outdoor experiences made him the more qualified leader now. This week, I wonder if we are choosing to adapt to the new...

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Who Do You Follow?

Uncategorized Jul 17, 2020

There is no denying that days of COVID 19 have been filled with many disappointments and frustrations even for those of us lucky enough to remain healthy and safe.

Sometimes it is a challenge for any human to keep perspective and gratitude in the face of such interruption and uncertainty. However, we try to practice the pause to appreciate new opportunities instead of mourning losses.

Just last week, my Class of 2020 son, an avid outdoorsman, invited me on a 13.5 mile-long day-hike. I promptly said yes for me and Sailor, our golden. In general, I am a capable, strong, and independent type. My presence brings confidence and comfort to others. For years, my boys followed me, but over the last five years as they grow into young men, the leader has changed in many situations and on this day it was so clear that the more capable and confident was my eldest. At 6-feet tall, my Eagle Scout son is at peace in the great outdoors. He prepares for contingencies and then he truly enjoys...

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The Enneagram System

coaching enneagram tips May 11, 2020

 

Sailor’s Sweet Life (SSL) leverages the Enneagram System as a tool in coaching and workshops. A fun, engaging and highly practical motivational tool, the Enneagram facilitates improved self-awareness and interpersonal relationships across family, social and professional spheres.

Unlike other personality tools, which can inadvertently typecast individuals and actually create more conflict (“I’m this style, and we’re not the same”), the Enneagram is rooted in practicality and harmony. It motivates users to explore not only their unique type, but also the types of others to improve communication in the relationships that matter most (“I’m this type and you’re that type, so this is how we can interact more efficiently and peacefully”).

The Enneagram recognizes a critical nuance of all humans—we have both sweet and bitter sides. In other words, each of us has patterns of thinking and tendencies related to...

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The Science of Timing

coaching timing tips May 11, 2020

Sailor’s Sweet Life (SSL) utilizes the Science of Timing, a proprietary approach designed to help clients simplify the hidden pattern of everyday life. By understanding when to do what and why, you can live a sweet life every hour of every day!

Time-based weaknesses impact all of us, regardless of age, gender and profession. Informed by a thorough analysis of peer-reviewed data related to peak and diminished performance in humans, SSL’s Science of Timing tool simplifies this information, breaking it down into actionable life hacks to help clients increase productivity and joy when tackling even the most mundane of daily tasks. Learn how to work with your natural motivation and creativity—not against it!—to best organize your time, implement routines and maximize impact of interactions with others when time matters.

Benefits of SSL’s Science of Timing coaching and workshops include greater productivity, reduced stress and higher...

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