A friend with lots of teenage boys like me shared a parenting nugget last week. When her boys start to tell her something, instead of commenting or asking questions, which I am prone to do, she says, “Tell me more.” Her boys continue to talk even when the subjects are challenging or uncomfortable. Genius! I just tweaked my mom style! We all want and need our kiddos to share with us, and those three words do just that. There is no judgment or agenda in “Tell me more.” Rather, it tells the other person that I want to learn and understand, so please do, tell me more.
Are you trying to do the same old even though the same is not happening? Last week I shared how following my son (Click Here To Read) into the wilderness made more sense than him following me like he did when he was young and inexperienced. The passage of time and our outdoor experiences made him the more qualified leader now. This week, I wonder if we are choosing to adapt to the new restricted life, or are we playing the waiting game in this messy middle of Covid19 life? We now have five months of this strange waiting game under our belts without a known end in sight. I am a skilled Enneagram 3, which means that I am naturally adaptable. I am, I own it. I am the opposite of stuck - I am constantly thinking alternatives, pivoting plans, and taking action with seeming ease. Sounds great, right? But not everyone around me, either in my house or my work world, always appreciates my quick thinking, can-do attitude, and prompt implementation. I recognize the misalignment of attitudes in interactions, so I pivoted to practice saying “tell me more” to my sons, husband, and clients so they know their concerns are heard, and I better understand their needs before offering tools and tricks that help. I still want to help, pivot, implement, and revise, but my audience buy-in is better, and therefore my impact more meaningful.
Is your awareness inviting in the new? Or do you feel stuck in holding on tight to what use to be, or what might have been? Science provides us clear actions to get unstuck, pivot, and thrive. I implement these strategies daily and want you to be able to as well. But first, we need to dig deeper into what holds you back. So TELL ME MORE my friends.